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This August marks 25 years since I began what I thought would be a lifelong Navy career was forever altered. Instead, I encountered terror—stalked, raped, and beaten. The aftermath was worsened by mental health treatments that ignored my trauma. This isn’t just my story; it’s our story—a Gladiator's journey of survival, resilience, and the struggle for proper care.
When I first reported the assault, I briefly felt supported by my command and squadron. But soon, that support vanished, leaving me isolated and ashamed. Spaces that once felt safe became places of silence and averted eyes. My trauma became something too uncomfortable for others to face.
This experience forced me to confront the inadequacies of mental health treatments. Instead of addressing my trauma, the so-called "support" focused on questioning my sexuality, deepening my despair. "Mr. Jones, this rubber band is your butt. This is what happens when you engage in too much homosexual activity." -Chaplain (the chaplain proceeds to break the rubber band). Amidst this, I discovered resilience—a hallmark of a true Gladiator. Each day was a battle against the memories and a system ill-equipped to help.
For a decade, I distanced myself from the Department of Veteran Affairs, unable to face the pain, shame and judgement from my service. Legal issues arose, but a VA counselor helped me see that PTSD affects male survivors like me, and that help was available. Since then, the VA has been a steadfast source of support, revealing a heart abnormality and traumatic brain injury that had gone undiagnosed.
The Allegheny County Veterans Treatment Court also played a crucial role, especially after a DUI in 2020 that became a wake-up call. Backed by organizations like Student Veterans of America, NAACP, NGLCC, 3RBA, Magellan Federal, Allstate, Entrepreneurs Forever, Northwestern Mutual, Veterans Leadership Program and Syracuse University, I’ve rebuilt relationships and focused on taking my company, Colorful Voices, to the next level.
The trauma I experienced strained every aspect of my life—family, friendships, and professional relationships suffered. But with time and professional help, I’ve worked to rebuild these connections. Self-care and empowerment became necessities, teaching me the importance of self-compassion and setting boundaries.
My journey through trauma and healing has fueled my desire to advocate for others. I am a proud navy veteran who believes in mental hope healing in action. As a survivor, I understand the challenges assault survivors face. This drives my commitment to raising awareness and pushing for systemic changes that better support those who have experienced trauma.
As I look to close out 2024, my top priorities are clear. First, I aim to secure the working capital needed to expand our international reach, starting in Dubai. Second, I will continue to grow our specialized training, support, and advocacy services, creating safer spaces for survivors. My activism, which includes speaking at military installations and participating in national forums to address sexual assault in the armed forces, fuels my commitment to influencing global policy changes that ensure better protections for survivors.
As I reflect on the past 25 years, I see a journey of resilience, self-discovery, and empowerment. The trauma I experienced could have defined me, but instead, I’ve embraced it as part of my story, using it as fuel to drive my advocacy and personal growth.
To anyone who has experienced similar situations, you are not alone. Seeking help is a courageous step towards reclaiming your life. Your journey, like mine, is one of resilience and courage—embrace it fully.
Today, I stand strong—over three years sober, in full remission from bipolar disorder, and no longer hearing voices. My journey is ongoing, but I am committed to walking this path with intention, leaving behind a legacy of hope, empowerment, and change.
Note: Your journey of healing serves as a beacon of hope for others who may be struggling. Stay strong and remember that seeking support is a sign of courage and self-care.
To find support and resources for sexual assault survivors, you can explore the following links:
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): Provides a national sexual assault hotline, online chat, and resources for survivors.
VA Mental Health Services for Veterans: Offers specialized support for veterans, including those who have experienced military sexual trauma (MST).
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): Offers resources and support groups for individuals struggling with mental health issues, including those related to trauma.
The Trevor Project: Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services for LGBTQ youth and young adults.
Click on these links to find the support and resources that are right for you. Taking that first step to reach out is not just a move towards healing—it's a declaration of your strength and your right to a future filled with hope.
-Timothy
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